Sharks are just Misunderstood

     No they're not.  Shut up.  I'm tired of coming across "shark specials" on TV, and they try to convince me that we need to stop thinking of sharks as being big scary monsters who want to eat us.  We're supposed to co-exist peacefully or some non-sense like that.
     Newsflash: I co-exist perfectly peacefully with sharks.  Why? Because I stay out of their friggin' way.  That's why.  Who are these people they get for interviews on these shark shows?  They say things like, "I was training for a triathlon and swimming 2 miles every day in the ocean.  I just never thought a shark would attack me."  Puh-lease.  Sharks don't waltz up with a high-five, and say, "Keep it up, sport!"  They bite your arm off.  How many times do we have to go through this?
     Then, that same interviewee courageously informs the viewers that he does not blame the shark for what happened and that he CONTINUES to swim in the same area because he's not going to let one missing limb get him down.  Know what?  I don't blame the shark, either.  I blame YOU, sir, who swims in shark infested waters.  Idiot.
     Obviously, not everyone is of the same mind as I am on these matters.  If they were, these TV shows about sharks would not be so prevalent.  So here's what I'm gonna say to all the shark-lovers out there:  next time you go frolic with Jaws, don't come looking to me for a big hug because you got bit.  Besides, it'll be difficult to hug you with both your arms missing!